Along the way, Wesley shares stories and insights from two (celibate) gay Roman Catholics whom he admires, Henri Nouwen and Gerard Manley Hopkins.

But he starts to find a ‘new paradigm’ for human relationships in the Church. So, Wesley doesn’t downplay the heartache.

And it’s not enough to seek the fulfilment of all these desires in God – because God has made us to desire human companionship, not just fellowship with himself. These include the longing that everyone has to be mutually desired, the search for a covenantal union with someone else.

In particular, he argues that the celibate gay experience is especially lonely, not only because it lacks companionship (because, as Wesley says, companionship can be found through deeply rewarding friendships, though this is hard work), but because some deep-seated and God-given desires will never be met. Wesley also devotes a searingly honest chapter to loneliness and the deep-seated reasons behind it. He then sets out a remarkably comprehensive overview of the Christian life, showing how the Christian teaching about sex makes sense and is meaningful within this. Wesley begins by sharing his own journey in some detail. So, by sharing his own experiences, he seeks to do just that. Despite the voluminous literature on Christianity and homosexuality, he could find virtually no books which offered him solace and encouragement as he sought to live faithfully. It is humbling because Wes does not gloss over the cost of such a decision.Īt the same time, Wesley’s book represents a challenge to the Church. It is inspiring because Wes has not experienced any change in his ‘steady, strong, unremitting, exclusive’ same-sex attraction, and is therefore committed to singleness and chastity. It’s all the more refreshing that, as an Assistant Professor of Biblical Studies with a PhD on the New Testament from Durham, he is well-qualified to say so. It is deeply refreshing because Wes writes from the perspective of a self-described ‘homosexual Christian’, who is convinced by the truth and goodness of the Christian teaching that sex is for marriage only. Wesley Hill’s book Washed and Waiting is a refreshing, inspiring and humbling read. Wesley Hill, Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (Zondervan: 2010)

Washed and waiting book